2nd Draft of the Script

Today I redrafted the script, in terms of dialogue and stage directions. I also changed certain elements that Abi, Dan and myself agreed may be problematic, i.e. hard to realise, or elements that may detract from the overarching theme/nature of the film.

I made the following changes:

1. I omitted the idea that the MAN did not have a mobile phone as this seemed too unrealistic, and I changed it to that the mobile had simply run out of battery.
2. I took out the Western scene, as we decided that we only wanted the 2 main characters to be part of the film, so as to not detract from it being solely about their relationship. 
3. I rewrote the dialogue in parts, to make it seem more realistic and conversational/colloquial, as some parts did not read well.
4. I made the stage directions more succinct and cohesive.
5. I decided to keep the section about the lights being turned on in the showroom, by the WOMAN character, because I was considering how the showroom would be lit. I thought that if it was closed/locked up, the lights would have been off, but since talking to Abi and Dan, I have decided to take this section out, as apparently not all showrooms do turn the interior lights off when closed. This makes the scene shorter, which is good because as it stood the script was 19 pages long, i.e. 19 minutes.