Redrafting the script

Today we redrafted the script. We believe that this will be an ongoing process throughout, as we want to make the dialogue as believable as possible.

We began by tackling the issue of the theme.

We felt that we needed to make the point that the woman wants to be in a relationship with the man, and so we have edited her dialogue so that she brings the topics of conversation back to the idea of being a couple continually. 

We also wanted to make the imagination sequences more of a recurring feature, and made the decision to only portray these sequences from the woman's point of view, as they would portray an extension of her personality. We decided that we needed to highlight her 'hopeless romantic' nature a bit more explicitly and that this would be the way to do so.

The imagination sequences now include parodies of:

• Bridget Jones' Diary
• Brief Encounter
• I Love Lucy type 1950's sitcom
• Say Anything/General 1980's break up montage

Equally, we have decided that the male character should be more likable and generally nicer, as we didn't feel that it was very believable that she liked him in the previous draft of the script, as he tended to insult her a little too often. We have still depicted him as being a bit cool with her in the early pages of the script -by trying to leave the building/search for his phone- but gradually we portrayed him warming to her. 

For example, during Scene 3, which is set in the kitchen, the woman begins to talk about her parents. She describes how they have been married for over 25 years and wistfully states how sweet it is. She jokingly says "Wonder what you'll do for our 25th?" and instead of appearing mortified, as the man may well have done in the previous script, he playfully pretends to hang himself with a tea towel. The woman laughs, rolls her eyes and continues with "They've had such a happy marriage. You can only dream of it can't you?" and he retorts with "Oh yes. Have done ever since I was a little girl." This asserts his character as more playful and likable, so that the audience are more likely to be rooting for him throughout.

Another big factor we changed was the argument. We felt that the build up to the argument in the previous script was much too fast and that the argument itself was too deep and serious for two people who'd only just met. We have instead made it so that, in an off-the-cuff mark, in a back and forth dialogue of flirtation, the male alludes to the fact that sleeping with the woman was, in fact, a dare. We felt that this would be a better trigger for conflict, as instead of trying to fabricate the conflict from within the time of being in the showroom, it could be something which actually predated their time in the showroom altogether. 

We were careful not to write the male as being spiteful about saying it, and rather tried to write it as though it'd just slipped out of his mouth without him considering it. Naturally, we decided that the woman would not take this piece of information very well and would storm away from the male. Although this does seem like a slightly cliche idea that is often utilised in romantic comedies, we are making a point of playing on stereotypes and dominant narratives throughout the film, and so we feel that this wouldn't necessarily be a problem, or a bad idea.